Uncle Drew (dir. Charles Stone III)

What I know about basketball wouldn't fit the back of a postage stamp.

Nevertheless - in this perfect example of counter-programming to the ensuing World Cup in Russia- my credulity to the sport was tested for a painstakingly dull 105 minutes, that only proves that taking ideas from commercials and dragging them out to feature-film length does little to serve the drama - and it's done nothing for my love of the sport.

If Johnny Knoxville perpetuated the myth that playing a character forty-years your senior is comedy gold, than Uncle Drew is the brainchild of his offerings "Bad Grandpa" and every cliched basketball movie in it's wake. Seen first as a Pepsi commercial, with 25-year old NBA star Kyrie Irving (cue me googling) playing a once-world renowned street basketball star in his late seventies, this tiresome sports drama fuses some shameful thematic contrivances with a distinct lack of humor.

Heading the roster is Dax (Lil Rey Howery) - a life-long basketball fan who fell short of making it big and now resorts to hustling in the street basketball scene. Coming up soon is the "Rucker" tournament, an annual competition which sees the latest and greatest that the Brooklyn street scene has to offer. Up for grabs is a healthy $100,000 pocket, yet his best-player (played by real life NBA star Aaron Gordon) has just been nabbed by his arch nemesis Mookie (Nick Kroll; chewing the scenery for all it's worth). Add to the mix his girlfriend Jess (Tiffany Haddish) - with whom he was financially dependent on - kicks him out for being a low-life, and he's forced to return to the streets to find a team to save face.

As luck would have it- or perhaps it's the sloppy writing - he meets an seemingly befuddled older man in Uncle Drew (Kyrie Irving) at a local basketball court, and offers him the opportunity to get back in the game - and he can use his team. An earlier montage sequence informs us that Drew was once part of a promising street-squad that forfetited their championship due to a indiscretion on his part with a fellow team-mate's girlfriend, so there's more than just money to play for here.

But Irving isn't the only one who's upgraded to septuagenerian status in this misjudged sports drama, and most of the drama sees our gang hit the roads to coral the team. Along for the ride are also Shaquille O'Neal, who plays 7-foot tall karate master "Big Fella", known for his formidable strength on the court, as well as Chris Webber as the baby-dunking "Preacher"; Reggie Miller plays the nearly-blind "Lights" and Nate Robinson and Lisa Leslie also make up the numbers as Boots and Betty Lou, respectively. All of these talented NBA stars in one film, with the help of director Charles Stone III, had the potential to be nothing if not deliriously entertaining - yet the storytelling is so inept and the jokes never connect.

When "Uncle Drew" is at it's best are during the somewhat arresting moments of sporting athleticism, yet they are continuously interspersed with gags that fall flat. Here's an idea which ran in a 2-minute commercial and has one gag: an old-man who can play basketball like a 25-year old. I'm afraid if that doesn't get you, than nothing else in this turgid film is likely too. It's also worth nothing the blatant product placement for "PepsiCola", as it could be argued that this is merely a 105-minute piece of product placement for a sugar drink. Sadly for those involved, this one falls short of the basket.

Rating 2/5.