The Commuter (dir. Jaume Collet-Serra)

The January-blues are well and truly here, and they come hurtling towards us in a commuter train at 70mph. At the helm, it’s Spanish director Jaume Collet-Serra - fresh of the heels of triumphant shark thriller "THE SHALLOWS" - directing Irish fan-favorite with the "particular set of kills", Liam Neeson. It's the fourth time in 7 years they've worked together: first came 2011’s UKNOWN, followed by NON-STOP in 2014 and then recently RUN ALL NIGHT. All instantly forgettable, but few could argue they didn’t serve up their B-movie ‘ordinary guy against the world’ schlock that we all love to hate with a certain amount of ingenuity.

This time, it’s more of the ordinary and familiar with THE COMMUTER; part conspiracy thriller come hostage whodunit, though more preposterous in it’s storytelling and execution than can possibly be understood.

A UK production; (Surrey, England doubles for New York), we begin with a Groundhog Day-esque introduction to our daily commuter; it’s Liam Neeson, he’s businessman Michael McCauley, he lives in the suburbs with wife Karen (Elizabeth McGovern), and son Danny (Dean Charles-Chapman). His repetitive lifestyle is told through some intertwining morning routines which attempt to gage your interest but are merely a plot device to manipulate you into sympathizing with Michael’s position later in the film, and to make him the unassuming everyday man he seems so content at being.

Cut to an unceremonious firing at the office he has worked for 10 years. He's let go to balance the salary books; though Neeson's an ex-cop turned life-insurance businessman, we’re made clear that his house is second mortgage and his soon to be college bound son’s tuition fees are skyrocketing - so he cant afford to be fired right now. Attempting to drown his sorrows, he joins ex-cop buddy Alex Murphy (Patrick Wilson) at a local pub. But this does little to lift his spirits and before he knows it a thief steals his phone. Though he finally makes his train armed with the unfortunate task of letting his wife and son know of his impromptu firing, a mysterious looking woman Joanna (Vera Farmiga) plonks herself down in the seat in front of him, and she might be the break he’s been searching for all day.

Farmiga, who looks for all the world like her character in Duncan Jones’ excellent sci-fi thriller “Source Code”, offers Neeson a $100,000 to complete one simple task: find a passenger on the train who doesn’t belong there (he’s supposed to know everyone on the train as he rides it everyday), once you find them, retrieve a stolen item from their bag and plop a tracking device on their person. Seems straightforward of course, but in the nature of their 2014 hit "Non-Stop" (but this time on a metro-train), things quickly turn deadly and more importantly preposterous. The inevitable race-against-the-clock b-movie entertainment soon takes flight, and we soon see our titular hero covered in flop-sweat and cuts and bruises.

Here’s where Collet-Serra’s action thriller descends into the derivative and non-sensical bilge you’re accustomed to this time of the year. As MacCauley navigates through the fellow passengers: oily looking former GoldMan Sachs employee Shazad Latif, unassuming Breaking-Bad alum Jonathan Banks and Lady Macbeth star Florence Pugh - as a gothic-looking rebellious teenager - it quickly turns into the camp melodrama it always had the potential of being. Ranging from Murder on the Orient Express style interrogation ,to the inevitable over-the-hill “geriaction” B-movie bilge - something that the Spanish director and his action star achieved with moderate success in their finest turn, Run All Night - Neeson's desperate performance coupled with the contrived action plot derails this drama of the rails from the first stop.

Though there were some additional scouting done in New York city, it’s clear the mostly British cast have some trouble giving convincing accents; a particularly exuberant passenger with what appears to be a Mid-Atlantic American accent wavers dangerously between Daniel Day Lewis in Gangs of New York and Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Some on the nose dialogue which resonated in my brain; “Who’s doing this to me?”, “They’ve got my family, don’t you understand!” - only makes you question why Neeson (who was so brilliant in the recent underwhelming Mark Felt biopic) would agree to be a part of these types of movies at the wrong side of 60. A supporting turn from the always watchable Sam Neil diverted my attention briefly, as the NYPD Captain Hawthorne; though his role is strangely underwhelming and insignificant - perhaps the most damning misfire of this derivative thriller.

The inevitable kung-fu fighting sequences are even more disturbing given Neeson’s advance years, and do little to increase danger or actual peril of our characters. If anything, seeing Neeson fight a train conductor with an electric guitar is more ridiculous than a moment of enjoyable popcorn action; As the drama progresses and the plot holes start to become visible, there some delight in “The Fugitive” style action taking place, as everyone starts to suspect that Neeson is really as crazy as his languid disposition suggests; and as the conspiracy thriller element takes heed you there’s fund to be had - but Collet-Serra forgets to inject any real fun or excitement in the storytelling.

Perhaps It’s best described as the sort of film which would undoubtedly kill time on a long-haul flight; but by the time you’ve collected your luggage, it’s dissipated into your subconscious in the vein of your daily commute home.

Rating 2/5.