The Bottom Ten WORST Films of 2017!

Thanksgiving might have been and gone, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for some more turkey. Though 2017 was a relatively good year cinematically speaking, there's always a few films which induce headaches and nausea with equal measure. Luckily for me, it wasn't a particular hard list to compile - ironically, 2017 has been either really good or somewhat mediocre. But i've managed to find a few films which really got my goat!

Let's go down from 10 this time - build up the real treat!

10 . ROUGH NIGHT (dir. Lucia Aniello)

What’s most disappointing here is the wasted talent on show - no one expected a film with great acting talents of Scarlett Johansson and Kate Mckinnon and Zoe Kravitz is a turgid and lifeless tale which has more in common with the hangover than anything else. It attempts to be a wild and debauchery filled evening of a bunch of lifelong friends partying in Miami when they accidentally kill a stripper. but the poor writing and misfiring gags make it look like a group of people who’ve never met each other before. It’s beyond offensive at numerous occasions and doesn’t belong anywhere near a movie screen.

9. THE BOOK OF HENRY (dir. Colin Trevorrow)

This abomination of cinema is so tonally corrupt it’s difficult to distinguish if it’s a dark comedy or it’s a straight-out horror film. Our plot follows the inner workings of precious young kid Henry (Jaeden Lieberher) who leaves instructions to this mother (Naomi Watts) to save a young girl from an abusive stepfather. Director Colin Trevorrow has shown real promise in some of his previous works, especially safety not guaranteed which blended the fantastical with the fantasy, here unfortunately nothing sticks with any resonance as the plot travels from the ludicrous to just plain manipulative.

8. THE MUMMY (dir. Alex Kurtzman)

Having a big box-office star in your big-budged film can always be invaluable to a film success, and they don’t come much bigger than Tom Cruise. Unfortunately for director Alex Kurtzman, his vision for a refreshing new take about an Egyptian princess who awakes as a mummy to wreak hell upon the earth falls short of it’s horror underpinnings and becomes just another mediocre tom cruise film. The over the top action sequences appear to be from the cutting from floor of the next mission impossible film and feel out of place in the context of the drama. Supporting performance from Russell Crowe as Dr.Jekyll and Dr Hyde are just plain laughable, as are his attempts are finally doing a convincing english accent. Jake Johnson and Sofia Boutella make up the cast list, but are staggeringly miscast in their roles, which could quite easily have walked in from a completely different film.

7. DADDY'S HOME 2 (dir. Sean Anders)

The fact that Sean Anders actually thought that we needed a sequel to his box office 2015 comedy hit is not the biggest problem with this glossy comedy turkey - it’s staggeringly unfunny. This time it’s the daddy’s daddy’s who become the butt of the jokes - add to the mix the shameful product placement, male chauvinism and undercurrent of homophobia all creates a car crash of a film - and one of the worst endings to a film i have ever had the displeasure of sitting through.

6. CHIPS (dir. Dax Shepherd)

Hey- let’s make a film adaptation of a 70s tv show that no-one cares about! Let’s do that, Hollywood! Pointless and staggeringly unfunny in equal measure, Dax Shepherd (who directs also) and Michael Pena are part of the California Highway Patrol Service or CHIPS if you spelling it wrong and like using acronyms like an ass hole. They team up to try and solve a big drugs bust - but the director doesn’t really care about the plot, they just want to tell fart jokes and talk about their penises for 90 minutes - oh , and try and make us laugh. Fail on every count. I’d rather the speeding ticket than see this horrible mess again.

5. THE GREATEST SHOWMAN (dir. Michael Gracey)

From the lyricists behind La La Land, and starring the acting chops of Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron you would think that there biopic of mr.showmanship himself P.T.Barnum would have at least been pleasurable to watch given it’s on screen and behind the screen talent. Sadly for first time director Michael Gracey, this witless and charmless portrayal of the birth of show-business has remarkably forgettable songs, hammy acting and some of the worst storytelling seen in many a year. This is coming from someone who LOVED La La Land, and love musicals even more. Should have kept this one of the cutting room floor.

4. JUSTICE LEAGUE (dir. Zack Snyder)

Admittedly, Zack Snyder's eagerly awaited DC superhero mash-up suffered from a unexpected family tragedy. Forced to step down as director, Marvel hero Joss Whedon was brought in to salvage what was left of the tentpole summer blockbuster. Unfortunately for fans, critics and anything else sentient, it's a real headache of a film: from the glossy and vomit inducing graphics, to the two-dimensional characters - it all accounts to a group of un-charismatic actors in leotards fighting against outer worldly beings with zero amount of danger or interest. When you find yourself starting at Superman's CGI removed mustache and becoming more concerned with his facial complexion than the drama on screen, you know the drama just isn't working. Despite badass Gal Gadot, who was so breathtakting in 2017's WONDER WOMAN, it's all shamefully incidental and woefully misguided.

3. TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT (dir. Michael Bay)

It wouldn't be a worst film of the year list without a Michael Bay flick, and of course the obligatory Transformers sequel, which pits car mechanic Cade Yaeger (Mark Wahlberg) against more intergalactic robots. The action set-pieces are as cretinous as you'd expect from this century's worst storyteller; as is Anthony Hopkin's appearance as famed British historian Sir Edmund Burton (he's clearly here to collect the check and the he wants the first shuttle out of here). There's less lewd and nerdish objectifying of the female characters (theres a woman with a brain in this one) this time, but the porn-ification of a child's toy in unforgivable in the grand scheme of things, as is subjecting audiences to 154 minutes of impossibly over-the-top action sequences that don't make any sense or have any place in a cinema.

2. FIST FIGHT ( dir. Richie Keen)

In any other year, Richie Keen's ethically repugnant teen "comedy" "Fist Fight" would perch itself at the top of the years Turkeys; with a dunce hat and swollen wrists. Whomever believed pitting two high-school teachers against each other should be thoroughly ashamed, as trivializing the already failing education system in America is one thing, but to actively assume that people would find two educators fighting each other amongst rowdy students is unforgivable on every level. Add to that the shockingly crude and infantile humor (you'd have to have never seen a comedy film to find the jokes funny), it all amounts to one of the most pointless exercises in a corrupt Hollywood system which believes laughing at people with responsibility is somehow high-brow entertainment. It's not, and this should be buried in a very deep hole - perhaps as part of those time-capsule field trip.

1. THE EMOJI MOVIE (dir. Tony Leondis)

It doesn't deserve any attention. It's the plague; and there aren't enough Poo Emoji's in the stratosphere to properly chronicle it's awfulness.

Stay away from also;

THE DARK TOWER AMERICAN ASSASSIN

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