Flatliners (2017) (Dir. Niels Arden Oplev)

Another day, another dumb Horror remake. It’s Hollywood’s go-to motive; find a classic film from yesteryear and refresh it for modern audiences with a healthier budget and contemporary stars. But for all the glossy and slickness with which Danish director Niels Arden Oplev operates this 21st century adaptation, here’a another case of a incidental remake of a troubled 90s film which is duly dead on arrival.

Borrowing its name and it’s loose premise on Joel Schumacher’s 1990 original, five medical students, led by Courtney (Ellen Page), Ray (Diego Luna), Marlo (Nina Dobrev), Jamie (James Morton) and Sophia (Kersey Clemons) - seek answers to mankind greatest questions regarding the afterlife by voluntary stopping their hearts. By triggering temporary death, they will venture into a different realm and monitor it on the computer screen for further analysis. But of course, there are consequences; there cowardly acts go beyond the ethical boundaries of physicians into something more paranormal - and our characters find repressed memories of misdeeds whilst a lot younger, and they soon find themselves being haunted by their own mistakes.

It’s murky genesis is the least of it’s problems - as it appears to be a sequel, given Kiefer Sutherland’s presence (a pointless cameo), it’s clearly just a dopey reboot with more in common with a meaningless Final Destination schlock. If you’re going to remake a troubled and controversial trashy horror flick - with a fresh and contemporary director (Oplev directed the original Swedish director The Girl With Dragon Tattoo) - make it innovative and bring something new to the table. Everything is so repetitive and tedious - there’s no real intrigue in the characters, who aren’t convincing in the slightest as practicing physicians, and around half way through i couldn’t understand what kind of film Oplev was trying to present.

Admittedly - the flatlining sequences this time around are slicker and will undoubtedly hold your attention during the first third of the film . But any chance of intrigue is quickly thrown out the window as soon as the hackneyed plot starts to unravel, as Oplev’s misguided remake merely uses it’s FLATLINER premise as a plot device to continue the shameful mediocrity which the majority of modern horror cinema believes to pass for genuine scares - yet again it’s eery moments of silence followed by loud bangs. Stick a large Do Not Resuscitate tag on this one and send it straight to morgue - some things should just stay dead.

Rating 1/5